Turbulent Year Sees Black Come, Bond Go
The Age
Thursday December 26, 1991
Conrad Black came, saw and conquered. Alan Bond just went. But they and many others left us a few oratorical gems to remember them by. GIDEON HAIGH reviews the business world's most quotable quotes of 1991.
One mo' time ``YOU'RE either going to have to believe me or call me a liar. I am telling you there is no arrangement, and I'm sick of telling people there is no arrangement." Kerry Packer weaves his spell at the media inquiry in November.
``Not only will I not exercise any control, I can't. It's a combination of can't and won't and don't want to." ``What I cannot understand nor accept is how as an Australian I should be the victim of attempted one-minute-to-midnight changes to established and accepted cross-media laws ... as I understand it, it is against the Constitution to legislate against an individual." ``I don't see any reason at all why one group of people over here are the recipients of all the wisdom and all the right thoughts and the other group over here _ which is the proprietors _ are all wicked, evil men who shouldn't have their point of view put forward." ``If you look at the amount of space which has been devoted to this rather petty argument about who owns John Fairfax you will see why I say they need fixing. The balance in those papers is appalling." ``The idea that I can end up buying 15 per cent of Fairfax and the Fairfax family have departed from Fairfax amuses me." Showing a sense of humor after all.
The auction results ``It's not our job to determine the national interest. I really think that we'd be as businessmen getting out of our trees if we started determing issues like this." ANZ Bank's Don Mercer offers the Mafia, IRA and KGB fair hearing in offers for John Fairfax.
``As the samaritanly philanthropist that I am, I'm just here to help you. You know that." Conrad Black arrives to save the universe.
``I think that he is, in political terms, undoubtedly heavy baggage, let's not deceive ourselves." On confrere Kerry Packer.
``Everybody loves me." On himself.
``It finally seems as though this long, degrading, grotesque charade is almost over. I think we're going to win. We're not complacent and we're not overconfident." Succeeding as tipster.
``I take the view about Mr Packer that he has been and continues to be a very substantial contributor to the Australian media. I think what is unfortunate, frankly, is the amount of abuse he has copped." Baggage fan Kim Beazley.
``I'll keep my eyes open for something that interests me but I don't have any fixed ideas." A Mr W. Fairfax, of Chicago, with perhaps the most disturbing threat of all.
Always look on the up side of life ``We are thinking quietly that the worst may be over and we want to capitalise on the up side." ANZ's chief capitaliser Will Bailey.
``Nothing changes as a result of this." Westpac's head of planning, Vern Harvey, brazens out an Australian Ratings downgrading.
``A recession is when your neighbor is out of work, a depression is when you're out of work and a recovery is when Paul Keating is out of work." John Elliott looks on the up side of unemployment.
``I still have my self-esteem and confidence in my ability to continue with things I am doing with this new business." Bob Ansett looks on the up side of bankruptcy.
``I have no intention of retiring. To my surprise I read somewhere that I am senile. I am not senile. Maybe they put it more politely than that ... they said I was losing my marbles, but I couldn't stand up to all the pressure if I was. I feel fit and well." TNT's Sir Peter Abeles adding his marbles for the bean-counters.
``It's a shock to the system to be making money." Representing the stockbroker community, Clive Batrouney of ANZ McCaughan.
``There are many things that we ought to have done differently or could have done better or more speedily. But that's all history. I have great confidence in this new team that's going to take over. We finish one chapter, on with the next." Retiring BHP managing director Brian Loton waits for his chairmanship (or knighthood).
Too low for zero ``Under present circumstances I am just too depressed and I don't see any future for this country or for the political party I have been a part of for 30 years." Sir Robert Muldoon talks up New Zealand.
``Talk of fast-tracking only serves to emphasise that the normal track in Australia is a slow track." MIM's Sir Bruce Watson talks up Australia.
``I couldn't live with being dishonest. You see, my make-up doesn't let me ... But I agonise. Sometimes I just stop and cry." Brian Burke glad to be in Perth.
``Murdoch's taken quality newspapers out of the market and filled the hole with rubbish." Sir Keith Macpherson glad to be in Melbourne.
``One in 50 people in the workforce works for a bank and they work in every electorate and they are pretty disappointed with the bank-bashing that is going on at this stage." Westpac bashee, Stuart Fowler, sniffs amid the bank inquiry.
``The (Industrial Relations) Commission has spent six months incubating its decision and has produced a rotten egg, and we are not about to eat it." ACTU dietician Bill Kelty after the wages decision.
Tricon treats ``I did thank the directors for their support, because I only received one phone call in a week and that was from the chairman, who stated: `Look, don't know what I can do for you but you have got my support'. And I said: `Yes, thanks, Neil, I would like to have a bit of sleep one night'. But I didn't hear from anyone. I was a bit pissed off about that. Sorry." Former head of Tricontinental, Ian Johns, remembers all the fun of October 1987.
``Yes, I took advantage of Ian's ineptness, didn't I? The man was out of his depth, out of his depth totally." Former client Stephen Matthews looks back in amusement.
``He dumped us in favor of Ray Lord. What a fool! A complete fool! It was foolish of me to try to give him advice. I should have let him sit and rot." Former client Stephen Matthews looks back in anger.
``If every lending institution acted like Tricontinental ... we wouldn't have any left, would we?" Former Tricon salvage merchant Jim McAnany looks back in judgment.
``I have been a good boy since 1987." Former Tricon client Joe Gutnick looks forward instead.
``Did I answer your question? I don't know. I don't know whether I'm rambling or not. I don't want to ramble. I have been told I shouldn't ramble." Mr Johns curbs his stream of consciousness.
``Mr Johns made it quite clear that he was issuing a default notice and would sell you up. He then went further to say that he would `break your legs next time he saw you'." Mr Johns curbs a delinquent borrower in 1987.
``It seems to be the hard-nosed lender coming out." Royal commission chairman Sir Edward Woodward on same.
Helluva good farmer ``Banks and the private sector are mugs for what they have done to this country." A promising start for former cow-catcher John Kerin as he takes the Treasurer's job.
``I am trying to make an art form out of being boring." Explaining his mission.
``I think I'm getting the message across pretty well." Post-budget.
``There is no doubt that the Australian economy is coming out of recession." Bob Hawke stands by his man after the budget.
``Well, basically, your guess is as good as mine." Forecasting when the economy will turn in August.
``It may be a little slower than we thought but it's certainly going to be a sound recovery." Bob Hawke still standing by his man in August.
``We have experienced our most severe recession for 60 years." Summing up in October.
``Unfortunately for the Opposition I was wrong." Explaining that summary to Parliament.
``So let me briefly outline in confusion just three areas which will assume new prominence." Summing up again in October.
``As a Treasurer, one helluva good farmer." Colleague's view of Mr Kerin after his sacking.
Dateline: Canberra ``My integrity is not for sale." The Prime Minister, Mr Hawke, rules out asset disposals during the WA Inc Royal Commission.
``Australia's farmers are being placed in a financial vice by the economic vandalism of the world's strongest nations." Trade Minister Dr Blewett fingers the visigoths of carpentry.
``It doesn't matter what anyone else says, I'm the only one that can say whether I am contemplating any challenge to the existing leadership, to the Prime Minister. And I am not." Backbencher, Mr Paul Keating, on being a backbencher.
``Well, there is an element of me, obviously, in the package, but I'm not trying to say that people ought to be like me; heaven forbid." Opposition Leader, Dr John Hewson, rules out cloning after the (apparent) success of his goods and services tax proposal.
``I think if I went to the football on Saturday and said, `All those who think Australian superannuation funds and financial institutions ought to put more money into Australian industry, stick up your hand', I'd get a pretty solid response." John Button with an optimistic assessment of the financial sophistication of the average football crowd.
``People point out to me that I am the last Treasurer since Chifley to have left the economy better than I found it. I achieved that in 15 days as Treasurer." Gough Whitlam observes that brevity is the soul of financial management.
``We have an Opposition that's starkly, ideologically, hard right-wing looking to propping up privilege in this country. The future of Australia demands these Tories be beaten." Mr Hawke risks his rapport with John Major as he re-identifies his nemesis in December.
The ($244 million) man and friends ``31 April." Expiry date as recorded of Alan Bond's facilities with Tricon. A typographical error, apparently.
``I was quite concerned because I didn't know who it was, whether it was somebody with a gun, or a thug, or who it might be." Fortunately it was only a tailgating agent of his bankers serving bankruptcy notice.
``We tended to support the people who knocked on the door the loudest." Mr Bond recalls his acoustic reckoner for political donations at the WA Inc Royal Commission.
``It didn't just sort of sit there. I, from time to time, took it with me. I, from time to time, changed it. I, from time to time, did various things with it." Ex-Deputy Premier of WA, David Parker, on his post-knock $23,000.
``Dowding picked up a chair and threw it against the wall when I told him I didn't have it." Mr Bond on the response of ex-Premier, Peter Dowding, to his failure to deliver a critical letter in 1989.
``There was no suggestion they wouldn't be done properly. You don't assume Alan Bond is going to steal $1.2 billion. You don't assume Laurie Connell is going to deceive and live like a parasite off the state." Mr Dowding himself on why attempts to save Connell's Rothwells went awry in 1988.
``You wouldn't put yourself in the financial cretin category, presumably?" WA Inc counsel Brian Martin to Mr Dowding.
``No, first grade perhaps." Mr Dowding modest in response.
``There comes a time when the credibility gap comes into play. Sadly in 1991 Mr Bond lost his credibility in the eyes of bankers." HongkongBank supremo Willie Purves lamenting Mr Bond's fall in the High Court.
``The law must hold him to that to which he put his signature." Mr Justice Kirby of the High Court insisting Alan's word was his bond.
Costa living ``My clothes, my books, my business papers, desk, filing cabinet and others matters associated with a business desk, pads, pens and papers." Chris Skase, back from Spain (briefly) to become a bankrupt with $172.5 million, reckons a life's work for ASC counsel James Douglas, QC.
``I presume you came first class." Mr Douglas. And so he had.
``There's no doubt he was formerly a wealthy man. He produces a statement which shows he has minimal assets _ that has to be investigated." Mr Skase's bankruptcy trustee, Max Donnelly, of Ferrier Hodgson, on his appointment.
``It seems that if he returns, it will be when it suits him." Mr Donnelly.
``Donnelly is acting for one creditor _ the HongkongBank _ and he appears to be marionette to their puppeteering. Their riding instructions are simple: harrass Skase and family on every conceivable extraneous issue while laying dead on the issue of the television network." Mr Skase pays back with interest (sort of).
``He has been extremely diligent chasing grandfathers, daughters and friends." Mr Skase with a word of praise for Mr Donnelly (sort of).
``If anyone goes to the loo there are the most dreadful noises from the plumbing system. We've had to bar anyone from flushing the toilet at night because it wakes the house up." Pixie Skase tells of her own sleepless nights at the hacienda.
Cross-court volleys ``That sounds like something out of `Yes Minister', Mr Santamaria." Justice O'Bryan, long-suffering judge in the Battery Group case, tackles barrister Joseph Santamaria over his circumlocution.
``Yes, but there's always an answer in `Yes Minister', your honor." Mr Santamaria distinguishes art and life.
``But you are the big boss in the family?" John Kaufman, counsel at the Estate Mortgage liquidator's hearing, to Estate Mortgage supremo Reuben Lew.
``I think the wife is the boss..." Mr Lew's modest reply.
``I did some contract law. My language has probably been contaminated by it." Battery Group managing director Rob Roeder explaining his reliance on legal phraseology at a juncture in the case.
``You ought to try 20 years of it, Mr Roeder." A melancholy Ken Hayne, QC, in response.
``I expect you must reflect sometimes that dairy farming would have been a less complicated existence." Master Evans thanking Reuben Lew ``for his forbearance" after seven days' testimony in the Estate Mortgage hearing.
``I can't remember the names of the cows." Mr Lew exculpates his livestock.
© 1991 The Age
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